i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
