yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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