I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
