At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
