She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
