i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
