i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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