Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
