My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
