The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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