Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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