he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
