I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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