She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
