Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
