I heard we made out
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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