I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Can I color on your dick again?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
