you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
