i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize