i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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