I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
