This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
