A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
