Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
