It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
