he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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