He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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