Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The feeling are messing with the penis
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
