Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
