they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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