Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
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