Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
