Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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