Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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