did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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