Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
