Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
