But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
