Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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