"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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