do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
