He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Is it because I queefed?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
