So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize