The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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