so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize