Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
