I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm always down for nudity.
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