I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
