Barsexuality is the new black.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize