Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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