im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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