im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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