Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
