Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
