The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
