At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
