dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
