I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize