VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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