Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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